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Love Vice with Jeiry: Back To The Ex
Posted on: Fri, 06/27/2008 - 2:35pm
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Dear Played and Confused, This is a classic case of Man Heart Broken By His Ex. You see, men can't deal with heartache like women can. When a man crushes our heart, we weep like newborns, drink like lushes, and talk about our heartache like therapy patients. BUT we also find strength in our friends, family, and replays of "I Will Survive". Sooner or later, we bounce back and, though reluctant at first, open our hearts again. We can even begin a new relationship and stick around when our ex comes a-calling. This is NOT how men work. When a woman crushes a man's heart, he is DEVASTATED beyond belief. One of my ex-boyfriends even began taking anxiety pills because he could not take the breaking of his heart! He also told me he was "confused" and "needed space" when his ex came a-calling three months into our relationship. This is exactly what I think happened with you and your "Prince Charming". His ex broke his heart (I'm assuming not too long before he began dating you) and he was probably furious at her, hence her not being his friend on MySpace. He dated you because he was single, and probably did care for you, but secretly hoped she would come back to him. I'm sure she called him up and they began to work things out while you were dating, which is why your gut kept telling you something was off. And then he decided to return to her without any consideration or respect for you or your feelings. That's another syndrome of Man Heart Broken By His Ex. They are usually too terrified to confront the next girl they were with after their ex. They usually ignore your phone calls and refuse to answer questions to give you the CLOSURE that you so desperately crave. They think its unnecessary to discuss how you feel because they've moved on, or rather back, to their ex, and their hearts and minds were always with them to begin with. They are also guilty of trying to juggle both women as long as they can. So be grateful that he isn't returning your calls. The universe ridded you of him at just the right time. Now here is how to handle the run-ins. Don't! Until you have healed yourself by listening to "I Will Survive", "I Hate You So Much Right Now", and "I Changed My Mind" on repeat on your iPod, you need to stay away from any places he frequents. I know it's difficult. I know you are itching to see him so you can give him a piece of your mind. But if you aren't emotionally ready to confront him, you will crumble (especially if he's there with his ex), and he will know he still has an immense affect on you. When you are READY, then you can make sure you run into him, almost like you're coordinating the encounter. This will put YOU in CONTROL. You found out plenty of info on his MySpace so I know you can do it! Once you know where he will be, GO! Look amazing without seeming like you're trying. Walk in confidently with your girlfriends. Act nonchalantly when you see him (I gave one of my exes a kiss on the cheek and then walked right along towards the bar without a flinch). Make sure you don't drink too much. Alcohol can sometimes bring on the waterworks, or in worse scenarios the violent shrieks and loose hand attacks. And I don't want to hear that you were kicked out of a bar! So heal your heart and then give all this a try. And remember, his fucked up ways have nothing to do with who you are. Prince Charming was simply Man Heart Broken By His Ex in disguise. Love strongly and wisely,
- Sujeiry's blog
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