Sí Trends

Hey Miss Bruja.
Thanks for your bold declaration and sharing. I think you are doing two extremely important things that point us all in the right direction. First you are unashamed and open about sharing your experience as a survivor. Many of us keep it trapped inside like a self-destructive cancer for years, decades. Secondly, each does their own part. Though it is extremely important to teach our young men, the work that you are doing with young girls is crucial in teaching these lovely young women that they are worth something. Instilling a sense of pride, self-love and self-respect is a necessary element in the steps of women recognizing that they deserve better and being better equipped to walk away from abusive relationships, and hell even abusive friendships where people just wanna take and take and exploit our caring and loving ways.
I get your email newsletter and have been meaning to write to commend you on the work you do with that program. But you of course already know with the incredible examples you share on your blog of young women writing back with actual testimonials of how you changed their lives.
Also it is quite beautiful that you list homosexual struggles within the greater challenge of "feminine struggles" as they are one in the same. I think it was artist Manny Vega, a candomble priest who during the Tradiciones Africana symposium which I just attended in Puerto Rico (and will be writing about in my blog), who said that initiation into the Yoruba traditions requires a "feminizing" of the body. He meant that for men (straight ones too) as well. The idea of feminizing the body correlated to opening us as human beings to the divine. Women share this process through giving life to new generations. In the Yoruba traditions, a male priest is seen as opening himself up to nature and divinity through various traditions, hence the term "iyawo" (Bride of the orisha), to describe even male initiates.
Additionally in cultures like in Thailand the belief that human beings be transgendered (viewed as a societal taboo even in the gay community sometimes, unfortunately) is seen as similar to the deities of their faiths, where a goddess or god could have both feminine and masculine elements/aspects. We all embody both. Only difference is to what degree or how openly it is expressed. I know I myself have my own "inner penis" and make no bones (no pun intended) about getting my testoterone-on when need be. I admire straight men who can say the same about their "inner-vaginas" and estrogen levels. Something to learn from our beatiful gay counterparts.
What is all comes down to however is the basic human right of safety and not having bodily harm inflicted on us person because of our gender and/or sexual orientation. que dios bendiga a tu amigo quien sobrevivio esa trauma. Y a ti tambien, and all us survivors.
Ache!
Yasmin

amen!

Bruja, this blog was intense and very real. It's a shame that love is not evident in media. To add to the other commentators. Does love(real love for mankind) have to become profitable to be what we get to experience in our everyday life?
Its not only a woman thing its a People thing. and I agree with comments that its in the education. We in this society have made the television the nanny and now you we get to see the side effects for those unfortunate people that didn't have their parents turn off the tube and instill values of love and respect for ourselves and the ones who we love.
What I want to say is I heard you loud and clear and thank you.

I think the key is to teach our young. In Latin America there's a saying: "Palo que nace doblado jamas el tronco endereza"- In other words it means, You will be wasting your time in trying to teach these grown ass men, with ignorance embedded in their brains, how to treat ladies with respect and equality.

The other day I get on the train, it was packed; a viejita (clearly about 70) gets on the car. All the seats were taken by mostly men, most of them of color. All of them saw the older lady, who was holding herself on the pole in front of their seats, after a minute or two, I was about to explode, a white man offers his seat to the older Latina Lady. That made me sick, all these grown ass Latino's seating there saw the viejita and they didn't even care. Que esta pasando con nosotros? A white man had more decency to offer his seat. That could have been my Abuela or yours. "WE HAVE TO START LOOKING OUT FOR EACH OTHER". (And then we have the nerve to complain why there's more latinas dating white men... but that's another blog)

That same night, I went to my sons and taught them how to be courteous to the elder.

Right now you have seminars that empower girls, others teach teenagers not to do drugs, or to practice safe sex, etc. But there is no program that teaches our boys manners, respect and equality - They are not getting these lessons at home. Our boys are getting everything from TV, Video games and the internet -just plain "retardation" and I don't mean to be insensitve but You know what I'm talking about.

Let me know how can I help, how to teach our youth some manners, Brujita you have experience doing this, How can I help besides just my kids, let me know.

For real, God knows our boys right now need some "moral values" lessons.

D$

Good points. Unfortunately with the portrayal of women as "objects" in mainstream (and ADULT) media, I believe the music videos, movies, etc. put it out there because that's what they think the public wants to see. Sad but true, they're all out there to make a buck and make these crappy Beyonce videos to create buzz about a song.

The answer? Stop buying Beyonce's CDs, turn away from the porn that's derogatory, post comments on these artists' web sites and encourage your friends to do the same. It may not seem like one person can make much of a difference, but they can. Never underestimate the power of the consumer, if you stop giving them your money and attention, they'll (hopefully) listen and change their message to the positive tip.

TRUE THAT!!!!

Thanks sooo much for this post; it's such an inspiration. This issue, and reality really, of HATE-most specifically in regards to women- is one that really hits home-obviously as a woman but more specifically as an aware woman who spends lots of time reading-and lately engrossing myself in many articles on the exploitation of women in the porn corporation (yes people, it’s a straight up BILLION dollar businesses like any other and therefore women are treated as simply “workers” who just bring in some serious cash).

I've been feeling so helpless recently—I’m always getting the label of "the angry woman," (almost always from MEN naturally), and at times- to my own deep regret- I find myself keeping my mouth shut and ignoring my physical repulsion at the sight/sound of a man talking "at" "HIS" woman, and turning my head at all the other looong lists of injustices that we women face by the men that we both choose and the men in our families, just so that I don't have to have my words and -yes- my ANGER fall on deaf ears. And being made to feel that because I am angry and expressing my feelings I can be overlooked and dismissed as an “emotional” “angry woman” and therefore do not have to be taken seriously! So I let myself inwardly cry while many of the men in my life laugh me off and brush me to the side, instead of staying strong and FIGHTING.

And I do find myself feeling like I HATE men, but you're right, hate is the opposite of love, and it's not men I hate- it's the dynamic of men/women relations that is so distorted that sometimes I find it hard to breathe. When I read things like this brilliant post you’ve just written, it helps me realize that I’m not alone, and there are plenty of -rightfully so- “angry women (and some men, I’ll give credit, where credit is due)” out there. The truth is, I don’t want to be angry anymore, I want to fight with love, especially since with this problem, I am fighting so many men that I do love: my father, my uncles, my homeboys, my boyfriend, my little cousins that will later be men, etc. It’s hard and it’s a struggle, but I have to, WE all have to, and the real truth is that this is a battle where we NEED men. We need men to truly realize what’s going on, to try to empathize, and to FIGHT alongside us, because despite what we’ve been taught, women AND men all live on EARTH, I don’t know anything about Mars or Venus.